A Great Sacrifice
by Traci
Summary: When Mac and Harm are abducted, Mac is the only one who can save them but is she willing to make that sacrifice - even for Harm? (written in '98ish)


Disclaimer: Sigh, I'm tired of writing these. I don't own them, nor do I pretend to. Although, if I did, I don't think I'd let Harm out hehehe. They belong to Donald Bellisario (sp?) and Catherine Bell and David James Elliot, who have done an incredible job at bringing these characters to life for us each week. Thanks to all of you (and the writers).

Spoilers: A few minor references to things said in past episodes, but nothing really big.

Rating: PG, except for one rape scene that I would put as PG-13, though it's not graphic

it is rather emotional.

Category: Harm/Mac angst and romance and that's all I'm saying!!

Summary: Dream on…not gonna let you know hehehe.

A special thanks to Felicia for helping me get through the writer's block! 

A Great Sacrifice

By: Traci

She smelled the musk and mildew; it choked her. Dampness seeped through her clothing, clinging to her. She felt something sharp jabbing her back as she became aware of the dull, numbing ache around her wrists. Slowly, Mac began to open her eyes. Her mind was still foggy. She tried to reach around to her back but could not move her arms. Blinking a few times, she was finally able to keep her eyes opened. Then she saw him – arms outstretched and chained to wooden posts on either side of him. He had no choice but to stand. He head hung limply.

"Harm?" she said just above a whisper – dampness having saturated her vocal chords. Again, she tried to move but was unable to. Looking above, she found her wrists shackled against the cold, rocky wall. "Harm!"

His head moved slowly. Had he looked up any faster he was sure his head would have exploded. Sharp pains shot through is arms. His legs ached; his knees buckled. He would've given anything to be permitted to sit for one moment. Harm soon found his comfort in two orbs of brown that knew him so well. With a bit of a struggle he managed to give her a weak smile. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. How about you?"

"Nothing a week lying down won't cure."

Mac briefly smiled. "What happened? The last think I remember is being run off the road by that black Cadillac."

"Your head hit the dashboard and you were out. I'm not really sure what this is all about. Two men got out of the car, pulled a gun on me, then drove us here."

"But where is 'here'?"

"I don't know. The windows were blackened. Are you sure you're okay? You did hit your head pretty hard… even for a hard-headed marine," he smirked.

Mac crinkled her nose at him. "I'm sure I'm fine."

Across the room a loud creak shattered the entombed atmosphere. Mac tried to make out the figure walking in. It was a man of average height. He did have an intimidating quality about him so she assumed the two larger men following were bodyguards.

"Glad to see you're both alert," the man stated.

"Who are you?" Mac demanded.

He looked down at her and smiled. "You will know soon enough." He then turned his attention to Harm and lifted Harm's face, studying it for a moment before pushing it away.

Mac winced as Harm groaned in pain.

"Do it," the man ordered his guards.

The larger of the two pulled out a whip. Mac caught the glimmer from the shards of glass intertwined with the leather. Her eyes squinted in thought then widened as the man stood behind Harm. 

"What are you doing?" she pleaded.

"Pain is a funny thing. It comes in many different forms – some emotional and some physical. I'd be curious to see how much pain he can endure." He nodded and the guard lifted the whip.

"No!" Mac cried, tears filling her eyes. 

With one flick of the wrist, Harms' body jerked forward and his jaw clenched to prevent any cries. All other thoughts of pain left him as he felt each tiny shard slice through him. He felt the warm trickles of blood as they soaked through his shirt. Once again he found comfort in Mac's eyes.

"Hmmm…" the man began, "He seems to have handled that rather well. Let's see if he can handle another round."

"Please, no," Mac pleaded, her eyes never leaving Harms'. "You'll kill him." She looked up at their captor and an icy shiver ran through her bones. She had seen that look before – the look of lust. "What do you want?"

He knelt down before her and slid his fingers down her cheek. "Oh, I think you know what I want. I've been watching you for a long time and I know what I want. But would you be willing to give it to me to save your partner's life?"

Her heart pounded. Her body trembled. She had risked her life for Harm on many occasions, but this… this was different. She looked over at Harm and saw the tears fall from his face. His eyes pleaded with her to say 'no.'

Harm could not believe what he was hearing. This man had been stalking Mac and neither had ever known. Now the psycho wanted Mac to trade sex for Harms' life. He couldn't – he wouldn't let her do that. She had given too much for him and his quests already. He tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Harm knew she could read his thoughts.

Mac broke from Harm's gaze and looked at the man before her. Tears broke through in spite of her best effort to hold them back.

The man grew tired of waiting and nodded to his guard again. The guard drew back the whip one more time.

"I'll do it!" Mac yelled. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."

The guard stopped. The man smiled. "I knew you'd want me as much as I want you."

"Sarah, no," Harm whispered.

She looked at Harm once more and her eyes said it all.

The second guard unlocked Mac's chains and dragged her up off the ground. 

"Sarah, don't do this," Harm cried as she was led out of the room.

"It's going to be okay," she responded.

Harm began to cry with the latching of the door.

Mac stood alone in the large bedroom. There was a gift-wrapped box on the bed. Hesitantly she removed the wrapping and lifted the lid. Inside lay a black, lace teddy. The knot in her stomach grew. 

"I was sure you'd look beautiful in it."

She whirled around to find that man standing in the doorway. Every part of her wanted to yell at him, to hit him, but she couldn't. Harm's life was on the line. "I still don't know your name," she said.

He smirked. "For our purposes you can call me Damon. I'd offer to let you use the bathroom but I'm afraid you might do something drastic."

"You're holding Harm, what do you think I'd possibly do?"

"I already told you I've been watching you for a long time. I've seen the two of you together. While you're not lovers, it's quite obvious you are more than 'just friends,' but I'm still not sure how far you'd be willing to go, what sacrifices you'd be willing to make, even for him. So, it's best this way."

Her heart ached at the thought of Harm still chained up and in so much pain.

"Get changed. I'll be back in a short time."

She stared at the door as she heard the lock slide into place. Her body trembled as she turned and stared at the bed. _Get a hold of yourself, Marine. This is for Harm._

Mac lifted the lacy object and bit her lower lip. Placing it back on the bed, she began to unbutton her shirt.

Mac held the blankets up close to her neck, staring at her clothes hanging on a nearby chair. Damon's 'short time' seemed to be hours. All she wanted was to get this over with and return to Harm. She thought of Damon touching her and felt a wave a nausea flow over her. Would she be able to go through with it? Then her thoughts wandered to Harm – chained up, his back shredded and bleeding. To add to her pain, her thoughts wandered to show her life without Harm. Not seeing his smile as she walked to her office every morning. Never hearing him call her "jarhead" or teasing her about her Beltway Burgers addiction. Inhaling deeply, her strength returned.

Hearing a key turning in the lock, Mac turned her head towards the doorway, praying that somehow Harm had escaped and he was here to save her. Her heart dropped at the site of Damon's face.

"What are you doing hiding under the covers?" he bluntly asked. "If I didn't want to see you I wouldn't have bothered getting that lingerie for you."

Mac made no effort to move.

Damon walked over to the bed and pulled the covers off her. 

Her body shivered beneath his icy and lustful gaze. "Why are you doing this?"

His dark eyes, after studying every inch of her body, met hers. "I already told you, I'm fascinated by pain. I now know your partner can endure the physical pain of a whip. Now what I want to know is if he can handle the emotional pain of know you are giving yourself to me."

"I am not **giving** myself to you," she hissed.

He reached down and stroked her cheek. "Ah, but you will." 

Within seconds he was on top of her, touching her, exploring her.

Her body tensed with every touch. She was repulsed at the feel of his tongue as he slid it down her face. His lips pressed to hers. She could feel him against her thigh. She just lay there, not moving.

Finally he sat up, straddling her, and grabbed her hair. "This will not do!" He pulled her head up and kissed her hard, pushing her back down on the bed. "You will enjoy this," he whispered, "or Harm dies."

Acid tears streamed down her face as his tongue forced it's way past her lips. He ran his hand up and down her, stopping wherever and whenever it wanted. Reaching down with his other hand, he undid his belt and zipper. He then slid his fingers beneath the straps of the teddy and lowered them off her shoulders and off her.

She tried to think of anything but the situation at hand. She tried to imagine herself in a faraway place, safe, with Harm near. Pain surging through her body brought her back to reality. It wouldn't be much longer, maybe only a few seconds – if that – judging by the look she saw on his face. But is would be a few seconds that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"Scream for me," he panted.

And she did, but not at his request. The overwhelming pain – physical, emotional, and spiritual – became too much for her to contain any longer. The tears poured out as she felt the weight of his body collapse on top of her. Her instinct was to push him off and run, but she couldn't – not with Harm's life in the balance.

"That was incredible," Damon whispered breathlessly. He propped himself up on one arm and studied her. "I suppose you'd like to go back to your partner now." His fingers lazily traced circles on her abdomen.

"Please."

"Sure, why not. There's nothing he can do to stop it anymore." He kissed her once again. "I may have to see you again later." Putting his pants back on, he got off the bed and walked to the door. "I may have to get you an extra special gift next time." Then he was gone.

Mac's curled up body convulsed from her tears. Suddenly, she jumped up and, remembering the bathroom was locked, grabbed the nearest wastebasket and vomited. She wanted as much of Damon out of her as she could possibly get. 

With piercing creaks, the iron door opened and the guard waited for Mac to walk into the cell of her own will. She took one step and stopped. Harm was still chained up. She looked back at the guard. "Could you unchain him? Please?" Her eyes pleaded and her voice was barely above a whisper.

The guard studied her for a moment then, seemingly taking pity on her, nodded and followed her in.

She immediately went around to look at Harm's face while the guard fiddled with the keys. Mac reached up and gently touched Harm's cheek. "Harm?"

Heavy eyelids opened to reveal his hazel, yet reddened, eyes. "Mac!"

His right arm fell and Mac wrapped her arms around him for support.

The guard nodded to Mac with the release of Harm's left arm.

"Thank you," she whispered as she helped Harm to the ground. He lapsed into unconsciousness in her arms. Kneeling beside him, she ran her fingers through his hair, tracing his features. He was out, of that she sure and part of her was glad for that. She wasn't anxious to deal with the inevitable questions and talk she would be having with him. The other part of her, the part that was dying, the part that was not the strong marine, wanted to have him hold her, to protect her, to wake her and tell her it was all a nightmare.

Stretching out her legs beside his, she sighed and rested her head on his chest, holding onto him tightly. His strong heartbeat soothed her as the tears flowed once again.

Harm awoke to the throbbing pain consuming his back and the feel of something heavy weighing against his chest. It took him a few moments to collect his thought and remember where he was. He looked down and saw Mac resting on his chest. With one arm, he reached up and tangled his fingers in her hair. Her head moved slightly. More tears fell from his eyes as images of Mac with Damon filled his mind. Then he felt the warm tears – her tears - through his shirt.

"Sarah?"

She didn't look at him. She couldn't. She wasn't ready to face him, yet she needed him. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

Harm held her. Now was not the time to speak. Gently he kissed the top of her head.

They both jumped at the sound of the door opening. 

Damon stepped in. "Aw, how cute." He walked over and grabbed Mac's arm. "But she's mine now." 

He tried to pull her up but Harm held her to him.

"Resistance will only make things worse on you both," Damon threatened.

Mac looked into Harm's eyes. No words were spoken as he slid his arms off her and she did the same. Harm tried to get up before Damon could take her again but was kicked in the ribs by Damon.

"Harm!" But there was nothing Mac could do. She was in Damon's grasp once again. 

It seemed like an eternity before Mac was returned to the dark cell. Harm's strength had improved and he was able to sit up. He forced himself to stand as the door opened once again. He staggered over as he saw Mac standing in the doorway with one of the guards. She stepped inside but did not move even as the door closed behind her. As Harm got closer he could see the sticky crimson on her face. He caught sight of the darkening around her swollen right eye. In an instant he was holding her in his arms. 

"I will kill him for doing this to you," he whispered. "I will kill him."

Mac couldn't speak. She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him.

He ignored the pain from the pressure on his back. It was nothing compared to what his partner was going through. He led her away from the door and lowered her and himself to the floor where he took a better look at her tear and blood stained face. "What did he do to you?" Harm ripped the sleeves off his shirt and lightly dabbed at the spots of blood.

She looked at him. She wanted to speak, but there were no words to be found. She should've been able to fight Damon but… She kept hearing Damon's threats over and over again. _If you try and fight back you will never see your precious Harm alive again._ Nausea was growing swiftly through her and within seconds she turned away from Harm and vomited.

Harm held her hair and softly rubbed her back. No matter what, he was getting her out of there before Damon could rape her again. 

Mac turned back and looked at Harm.

"Why did you do it, Sarah? You should've just let them kill me."

"I couldn't."

He nodded. "Is there any way out of here?" he asked as he continued to dab at the blood.

"I think so. I saw a door to the left of this one that someone came in through. I don't know if it leads out though." She winced as he touched the corner of her bruised eye.

"Sorry." He wanted to ask her what happened, what that bastard had done to her, but he wasn't sure he could handle the answer. He had heard the testimonies of rape victims, but this was different – this was Mac.

She looked into his eyes. She saw the questions, the hurt, the anger. She saw the guilt and she saw the one burning question racing through his mind. "Yes, Harm, I would've made the same choice even if I had known."

He stopped and stared at her. His heart was ready to burst. "I don't know what to say," he whispered. "You always seem to be saving me and I always seem to be letting you down." He turned away from her and looked at the ground. "Maybe you should've stayed with the law firm when you had the chance."

Mac reached out and forced him to look at her. "Harm, I couldn't have stayed away from JAG even if I had wanted to. You were right. I was leaving because of Dalton. And what is this about you never being around for me? Who was there when I was being stalked? Who was there when Dalton was murdered? Who was there when I was shot in the wilderness?"

"And you wouldn't have been in the wilderness to be shot if it hadn't been for me! And where was I when Chris came back?"

"Harm, now is not the time to argue over who is there for each other more. I don't regret anything that has happened – not one second of it. And this is something that I will learn to deal with and live with, but never once will I regret my decision. You have to believe me."

Harm laughed.

"What is so funny, sailor?"

"Do you remember the last time we were doing this to ourselves?"

"Of course, how could I forget? It was the first time we slept together," she grinned.

Harm arched an eyebrow.

"Under the tree branches, to keep warm." Her eyes sparkled for the first time that day. "At least that is how **_I_** remember it."

"And all this time I thought that you had finally given in to my charm."

Mac laughed but stopped as pain ran through her body. The pain that brought reality flooding back to both of them.

Harm put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I'm going to get you out of here. No matter what it takes, I'm getting you out," he whispered.

Jag Headquarters

2100 Zulu

"Sir?" Bud asked as he poked his head inside the Admiral's door. 

"Lt. Roberts, what is it?"

Bud stepped inside holding a piece of paper. "Sir, we just received a fax from the Alexandria Police. They found Commander Rabbs' car." He handed the fax to the Admiral. "The passenger's windshield was shattered and they found blood inside the car."

A.J. looked over the brief report. "Am I to assume the passenger was Major MacKenzie?"

"No one has heard from her today. I have tried to reach her a few times today."

"Mmm."

"Sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Do you think they're alright?"

"I hope so." 

Damon's 'Prison'

"Harm?" Mac shifted her position so she could watch Harm pacing.

He stopped and knelt before her. "What is it?"

"I'm okay," she smiled. "But Damon…"

"Is not going to touch you again," he vowed forcefully.

She shook her head. "No, it's not that." Her eyes squinted in thought before she looked up at Harm again. "He seems familiar somehow."

"You know him?"

"I…" Mac hesitated. "I don't know. If I do, I don't know from where."

Harm cupped her cheek. "It's okay." He could just barely make out her now slightly swollen face. He looked around the room, searching for anything to get them out of this nightmare. His eye caught on a beam of light that bounced off a nearby wall. Harm traced it back to its source. There was a small, dirt-covered window high about them. It was a long-shot, but at least it was a chance. And, if nothing else, the challenge would take her mind off Damon for a few minutes. "Mac, do you think you could reach that window if I lifted you?" Mentally he cursed himself. Embarrassed, but concerned, he looked into her eyes. "I mean, physically…"

"Harm, I'm a Marine," she interjected quickly. "I am trained to deal with pain." She untied her sneakers and slid them off before rising.

As he watched her, an ache filled him. He remembered how she had ignored her feelings when she had almost been raped in the wilderness. He remembered trying to get her to talk about it, but she refused. Now she was doing it again; internalizing the pain and shock, trying to deal with it alone. When would she realize he had her back for everything, good time and bad? She would have to face this and he made a silent vow to be with her every step of the way.

"Hey, flyboy, what are you waiting for?" She was standing below the window.

Although her emotional state bothered him, at this moment survival was paramount. He moved closer to the wall and bent down to offer her a leg up.

"What, no comments about too many beltway burgers?" she asked as she reached up to unlatch the window.

"Not today." He let out a grunt as Macs' knee hit him in the face. 

"I, umph, I think I got it." She pulled the window down but lost her balance before being able to see out.

Harm fell back but still managed to grab her. Mac landed on top of him with a thud. He clenched his jaw.

"Harm, are you alright?" Mac cried as she scrambled off him. "Harm?"

He struggled to sit up with her help. "Okay, now I will ask you to lay off those burgers if we are going to be captured more often!" He glanced up at the window. "Were you able to see outside?"

She shook her head. "No, I lost my balance before I could."

The door swung open and Damon rushed in. "What is going on in here?!"

JAG Headquarters

Coffee Room

2230 Zulu

"Bud, I'm really worried about them." Harriet's blue eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Placing his mug on the counter, he took his wife in his arms, not caring what anyone thought. "I know, so am I." He looked at her. "But they've been missing before and have always come out alright."

A tear made its way down her cheek. "I know. It's just that…"

"It's just what, Harriet?"

"It's just… I don't know. Something tells me this isn't going to be okay." She wrapped her arms around him. "Something tells me they aren't going to be alright this time."

Damon's Prison

"I asked you a question," Damon demanded.

"Um, nothing." Harm coughed. "I just fell."

"I **_do_** know you, don't I?" Mac's mouth hung open.

Damon smiled at her. "I knew you noticed me."

"Mac?"

She stood up and faced Damon. Her fear became engulfed by anger. "Why?"

Harm struggled but stood by his partners' side. "Mac?"

Damon reached out to touch her, but Harm grabbed his arm. Damon faced Harm and pierced through him with empty eyes. "Remove your hand."

"Don't touch her," Harm retorted.

"I don't believe you are in any condition to tell **_me_** what to do."

"Harm, it's alright." Her gaze met his. "It's okay."

Taking a deep breath, Harm released Damons' arm.

"Sarah, you were always so nice to me. You always chose me. I just knew you wanted me. Why else would you always smile at me like you do? You were always so happy to see me."

"Damon, you couldn't be more wrong."

"But you stopped by to see me almost every day, sometimes even two or three times a day." He tossed a glance at Harm. "Sometimes **_he_** would be with you too." He took Mac's hand in his own. "I just knew it would be wonderful with you. And I was so right. We are so right." He grabbed the back of Mac's neck and drew her towards him, kissing her harshly. 

She pushed him away.

"I can still have him killed," Damon warned.

"You can't threaten me anymore. I've recognized the enemy."

Harm couldn't take anymore. His strength had been improving over the last few hours. His adrenaline was pumping. In one, swift movement, his fist met Damons' face.

In an instant, his two guards were on top of Harm. Damon was lying unconscious on the cold earth. Mac, seeing an opportunity, grabbed one of the guards' guns and fired a shot in the air. Everything stopped.

JAG Headquarters

2300

Admiral Chegwidden was pacing in his office when Tiner buzzed him. 

"Sir, Mr. Webb is here to see you."

A.J. sighed. "Send him in." He barely waited until the door was closed before, "Webb, did you send them out on a case and not tell anyone?"

"What? Who? What are you talking about? Does this have something to do with why you called me?" He cautiously sat down.

The admiral sank in his chair. "Yes. Rabb and Mac have disappeared. The Commanders' car was found in Alexandria and it looks like they had been run off the road."

"What? A.J., I can honestly say I have not been in contact with either of them for weeks." The Admirals' eyes reflected his own concern and thoughts. "This is Mac and Harm you're talking about, I'm sure they are fine." Webb smiled. "I'd probably be more concerned about whoever has them, if that is what happened even."

Chegwidden looked at him, silently appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. 

There was a knock at his door. "Come in."

"I just heard, is there…" The blonde stopped short noticing Webb sitting there. "I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't know…"

"It's okay. Mr. Webb, this is Lt. Commander Jordan Parker "

Webb stood and shook her hand. 

She turned her attention back to the Admiral. "Is there any word?"

"No, but I will let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Nodding, Jordan suddenly found herself feeling very out of place. "I, um, I am sorry for barging in, Sir."

He rested a hand on her shoulder as she stopped before the door. "Don't worry about it. You were concerned."

Quietly she left. 

"Harm's latest love?" Webb asked.

A thin smile spread across A.J.s' lips. _'Love' isn't exactly the word I would use, _he thought. "She's his… Wait, why am I explaining this to you?"

Webb merely shrugged.

Damons' Prison

The guards released Harm. 

Mac had the gun aimed straight at Damons' head. He had not stirred since Harm hit him.

Taking the other gun, Harm chained up the guards and stood beside Mac. "Mac, come on, let's get out of here." He headed to the door but stopped. "Mac?"

She had not budged. Damon was beginning to stir. She cocked the gun. Her finger trembled as it tightened around the trigger.

"Sarah, don't," Harm pleaded. He rested his hand on top of hers over the gun. "You would be no different than him." 

Warm tears streamed down her face. She wanted nothing more than for him to be dead. 

"You're a Marine, Mac. You are trained to kill – not to murder." He knew how cold it sounded, but he was desperate. 

Across the room he spotted another shackle hanging from the wall. "We can chain him up over there. The police will take care of the rest."

Harm reached down and dragged Damon across the floor as Mac watched, gun still aimed at him. There was only one shackle. Harm locked both wrists in the single restraint as Damon regained consciousness. 

"Wha…?" He looked up to see Mac aiming the gun straight at his head and gave her a big smile. "Mmm… so now you're into the kinky stuff?"

Harm turned his head quickly at the sound of a metallic click. "Mac! He's not worth it!"

"Might want to take that nice teddy with you so you can wear it for me later at your place," Damon edged on.

Mac jaw tightened. "Harm, get out of the way."

Placing himself between the gun and Damon, Harm stood his ground. "You are going to have to shoot me to get him."

Mac stared at him in disbelief. "Harm, after all he's done to you… to us?"

"That is just why you **_can't_** kill him. He's not worth ruining the rest of our lives over."

"You wouldn't be held responsible. I'd be the one going to prison."

"And where would that leave me?"

Macs' eyes locked with his. She lowered the gun. "I'm sorry, Harm," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

He took the gun from her. "It's okay." He slid his arm around her shoulders and led her to the door.

"You were the best, Sarah," Damon yelled out. 

Harm's face grew red as he clutched the gun Mac had just been holding. Turning around, he raised the barrel.

BANG!

U.S. Naval Hospital

Betheseda, MD

They were whispering but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Her body was numb. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"Major, you're awake!" Bud exclaimed. 

"Mac." Admiral Chegwidden stood at the end of the bed. He looked at Bud. "Lieutenant, why don't you go get the doctor."

Bud was grinning. "Yes, Sir." He glanced back at Mac. "Nice to have you back with us, Ma'am."

Still a little groggy, Mac asked, "Where's Harm?"

The Admiral moved to the side of her bed and reached for her hand, but stopped. "He's…"

Memories flooded into Mac's head. Damon, Harm, the gun! "Oh my… Harm…"

"Is going to be alright, Mac."

"He's going to be charged, isn't he?"

A.J. stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Damon. He shot Damon."

"Who is Damon? Harm brought you here and called me before they took him into the ER. Are you telling me he killed someone?"

Mac released her breath. "I… no… I don't remember." She scanned the room. "What am I doing here?"

"Major, I've been waiting 3 hours for someone to answer that very question for me. What happened? Who is Damon?"

"Did the police get them?"

"Mac," The Admiral's voice softened. "Mac, maybe you should take it easy. I'm sorry for starting…"

"Major MacKenzie, you had us pretty scared," the doctor said as he walked in. 

The Admiral stepped back.

"How is your shoulder feeling?" He poked at it. 

Mac winced. "It hurts a little, but it's fine."

"You're very lucky the bullet when clean through." He continued to check her.

"Bullet? But I wasn't…"

"You were shot. You're very lucky your friend got you here when he did."

"Harm. How is he?"

The doctor stopped what he was doing and passed a glance to the Admiral. "He's doing okay. They're still working on his back. Do you know what happened to him?"

"They used a whip on him. A whip with pieces of glass. He was beaten up pretty bad."

"Who are 'they', Major?" the Admiral asked.

She kept silent and the doctor took the hint. "I will be back to check on you soon. I will let you know as soon as Commander Rabb is done."

A.J. began to pull a chair over to the bed when Harriet and Bud came bursting through the door. 

"Ma'am, you're alright!" Harriet cried but quickly shut her mouth as she looked back ad forth between the Admiral and the Major. "Um, Bud, I left my purse in the cafeteria. Go with me to get it, please."

"But…"

"You heard your wife, Lt., she requests your presence."

"Yes, Sir." He followed her out the door.

"Now, Major, who are 'they'?"

"Sir, I need to see the doctor. Can you please get him for me?"

"Are you okay?"

She could feel the warm tears sliding down her temples. "Please, I need to speak to him alone."

"I'll get him."

U.S. Naval Hospital

Mac's Room

Betheseda, MD

A heavy silence sat in the air. Mac could feel her world collapsing. She glanced over at the doctor. "I guess you knew when I was brought in here that I had been…"

He nodded. "Yes, Commander Rabb gave me a condensed version of what happened. We have run all the tests and the results should be back within a week." He paused. "Major…"

"Sarah. There's no need for formalities in this."

"Sarah, depending on what the HIV test shows, you will have to be tested every six months for a year."

She swallowed hard. "What about pregnancy?"

"Since the rape occurred so recently, you will also want to be re-tested for that as well in a month or so. The other tests should be more conclusive in their results."

Silence filled the room once more.

Mac wanted to break down then and there. She was tired. She didn't want to have to put on a strong front for everyone. Where was Harm? She needed him.

"Is Harm out yet?"

The doctor looked surprised. "Yes. We are releasing him at his insistence. He said he was going to stop by, didn't he?"

With wide eyes, she replied, "No."

"He must still be filling out the paperwork. I'll send him in as soon as I find him, okay?"

"Yeah." She never heard him leave. Something inside told her Harm was not going to be visiting.

Harm's Apartment

Later that Night

"Harm, you have to eat something. The doctor told me to make sure you took care of yourself."

"I said I'm not hungry, Jordan. Just leave it alone."

Jordan set the bowl of soup on the kitchen counter then sat beside him on the couch, snaking an arm around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I was so scared when no one could find you." She kissed his cheek. "I missed you."

Harm pushed her away and walked over to the window. She followed.

"What is it?"

"Jordan," he began. "I think, well, I don't think this is working out for us."

Tears filled her eyes. "What are you saying? I think things are fine between us."

He stared straight at her, but somehow was not seeing her. "I don't want this anymore. It's just not… I don't know, it's just not what I had pictured."

"It's her isn't it?"

He blinked. "Who?"

"Major MacKenzie."

"This has nothing to do with her."

"Then why didn't you visit her in the hospital? I thought you two were partners, friends."

"She was talking with her doctor. I didn't want to disturb her."

"As if that's ever stopped you before," Jordan mumbled. Grabbing her coat off the chair, she turned to face him. "I knew from the beginning I was competing with her, I just never figured I'd lose to her." She slammed the door behind her.

Harm stared back out the window. _Sarah, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for everything. Why did you do it? Why?_

"No! Stop! Don't do it, Mac!" Harm sat up breathing heavily. His hair was drenched in sweat. Taking a moment, he climbed out of his bed and padded to the bathroom but stopped when he heard the knock. _3:21 in the morning? Who would be up at this time?_

Cautiously he approached the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Harm. I need to talk to you."

He opened the door but walked away before having to face her.

"Harm, we can't do this to each other. I don't understand why you pushed me away."

"I can't do this. I'm sorry. I know what I said, but…"

Mac stood behind him. Placing a hand on his lower arm, she continued. "I know it was you who shot me. But Harm, I jumped in front of the gun. It wasn't your fault."

His head hung low. "Why? Why did you do it?" he whispered.

She stood in front of him and lifted his chin. "Because I need you here, not behind some bars somewhere. If I had let you kill him… well, as you said, where would that leave me?"

"Wait, what are you doing out of the hospital?"

She smiled. "You are either a really good shot or a really bad one, Flyboy. It wasn't that bad. The arm will be sore for awhile, but I'll live."

As much as Harm wanted to push Mac away - as much as it hurt him to know he shot her, one look in her eyes and he knew he couldn't walk away again. Taking her in his arms, he held her close. "I am so sorry."

She didn't respond. She merely snuggled in closer.

Awhile later, they were sitting together on his couch. Neither had spoken a word.

"Mac?"

"Hmm?"

"The doctor? What did he…?"

"They are running tests. He said the results should be back next week." She sat up so she could see his face. "I will have to be tested again for HIV in six months, of course, that depends on if the results come back negative or positive."

"What about…?" These were topics he never imagined having to discuss with Mac and he didn't know exactly what to say.

"Pregnant?" She sighed. "They gave me ECP's, but there's still a very slim chance it could still happen."

"ECP's?"

"Emergency Contraceptives."

He continued to look at her. "Mac, you recognized that guy. Who was it?"

Her hands shook. He took them in his own.

"You didn't recognize him, did you?"

"No, should I have?"

"In all the times I've dragged you with me to Beltway Burgers. He worked behind the counter. He always took my order."

"**_That's_** how he knew you? But you didn't socialize with him. Why in the world would he think…? Oh, Mac."

"I don't think I'll be going to Beltway for a long time."

He knew she was trying to be funny, but his heart was breaking for her. He pulled her to him once again. 

Harm's Apartment

Next Morning

"No! Stop!! Don't!" 

Harm held onto Mac tightly as she clutched at his shirt. "Mac," he whispered as he tried to stretch his legs on the couch. "Sarah."

"No!"

Concern grew as Harm shook her gently, avoiding her injured shoulder. "Mac, wake up!"

She jumped up, ready to pound on whoever was there. The salty tears poured from her eyes. Her strong body trembled uncontrollably. Her eyes were distant.

Harm realized he might not be able to handle Mac alone. Standing, he locked eyes with her. "Can you hear me, Mac?"

"I have to go," was all she said as she ran out the door, leaving Harm standing in the middle of his living room.

Fear clutched his heart. Grabbing his keys, he ran after her but was stopped at the door by two military officers.

"Lt. Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr.?" one of the officers asked.

"Yes, that's me."

"You are under arrest for the attempted murder of Major Sarah MacKenzie."

"What? What are you…?"

"You have the right to remain silent…" the other officer began as he cuffed Harm.

"You don't understand!"

"Tell it to your lawyer."

Potomac River

Virginia Side

Mac sat on the edge of the wall and stared into the rushing water below. The previous week's rain had created a dangerous surge. No one would be able to find her. The current was sure to sweep her body out to sea quickly. Two days ago she had been so sure she could handle it. It was to save Harm's life afterall. But now – now the nightmares, the uncertainty of her health, Harm's guilt. Thoughts of a tall, cool one crossed her mind every chance it could. _'You're not just a drunk; you're a mean drunk.'_ Those words had pierced deep into her heart when Harm had spoken them years ago. It was that very memory that had kept her from going off the wagon again. 

Her tears continued to add to the raging river. "Harm, I never…" She leaned back on her hands and looked up to the sky. _How will I get through this? Harm has Jordan; he doesn't need some crybaby hanging around, but no one else who understands me as well._

"Excuse me, Miss."

Mac nearly fell off the ledge. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," the elderly man said. "I was just afraid you might fall in."

She ran her hands over her face. "No, but thank you for you concern."

"Are you alright?" 

"I will be."

"Okay, but whoever he is, he's a fool for hurting you."

Mac offered him a smile as she stood up. "It's not his fault. Thank you for the thought."

He smiled back. "Ok, Miss." He nodded to the water. "Just be careful."

"I will."

The stranger disappeared behind some nearby trees.

Mac sighed. She was sure Harm would be worried about her and she felt horrible about having run out on him. She had been suffocating and had no way to let him know. Returning to her car, she began her fight through rush hour traffic back to Harm's. 

Military Police Car

En Route…

Harm watched the world outside pass swiftly, the long lines of traffic of people going into D.C. to begin their days' work. "Where are you taking me? This isn't the right…"

One of the officers turned around, gun aimed at Harm's head. "You're not going there."

Harm's eyes widened as recognition set in. Damons' goons! 

"Don't even think of pulling another stunt this time."

"What happened to the police?"

The guy merely grinned. "They won't be bothering anyone else ever again. Now, where is your girlfriend?"

"I don't know."

"Don't give me that. You were willing to kill Mr. Kronta for her so don't tell me you don't know where she is."

"I really don't know."

The driver practically slammed on the breaks. "Hey, isn't that her over there?"

Harm looked, praying it wasn't.

"Where?" the other guy asked.

"In the turn lane."

Harms' heart sank. It **_was_** Mac. _No, Mac, go! Hurry!_

After cutting off a few irate drivers, they managed to get behind her. 

Harms' Apartment

"What do you mean he was arrested?" the Admiral demanded while Harms' neighbor wrung her hands. 

"They came in and told him he was being arrested for the attempted murder of a Major Mackenzie or someone."

"Were you here, Ma'am," Bud asked.

"No, I was leaving for the day and was in the hallway. They didn't look too friendly, though."

"Lt., did anyone get a statement from either one of them last night?"

"Um, no, Sir, not that I know of. Other than what the Commander had told the police yesterday at the hospital."

Chegwidden nodded. At least they had some lead to start with. There was someone after Mac. But the statement still had not answered the other questions – like how did Mac get shot and who shot her. He glanced back at Harms' neighbor. "Thank you, Mrs. Perry. Someone will be in touch with you for your statement."

She nodded and left. 

"Sir?"

"What is going on? Mac and Harm are trained in self-defense. What happened to them out there?"

"I don't know, Sir."

He looked at Bud. "No, of course you don't, Lt. I just wish we had some information we could use."

Harms' phone rang and they waited for the machine to pick up. "Commander Rabb, this is Captain Orson with the Alexandria PD."

A.J. grabbed the receiver. "Captain, this is Admiral Chegwidden."

"Admiral, I'm sorry. I must have dialed…"

"No, you have the right number. Why was Commander Rabb arrested for attempted murder?"

"What? What are you talking about? I was calling to let him know we just found the bodies of the two officers we had sent out to arrest Mr. Kronta. I wanted to warn him that they are still on the loose."

A.J.'s jaw dropped. "What did Commander Rabb tell you?"

"Not too much. He was more concerned with getting help for his girlfriend. He told me they had been abducted by a guy who had been stalking his friend and had been held captive for a little over a day. When he told me who he was I had no reason to doubt him, seeing as he is a Naval Officer. He told me where the captures were and gave me this number to call for a statement."

"I see. And now these people are still out there."

In Car

En route…

"Yes, sir, that's right. We are following her." The passenger turned back to Harm. "Where would she be going?"

"I don't know." But Harm knew exactly where she was going and for once he hoped he was wrong.

"He says he doesn't know. Would you like me to make him tell us?"

There was silence as the man answered.

"Yes, sir. No, she's not going towards Falls Church." He waited. "She's not heading towards his place either." Another pause.

Mac would not be prepared. Harm knew it. She was not herself.

"We'll meet you there."

He turned back to Harm. "Guess your girlfriend is really mad at you this time. But she will be having a wonderful surprise waiting for her at her place."

Harm closed his eyes. _Please. Please hear me, Mac. Don't go home._

She had wanted to go back to Harms' apartment. She had wanted to apologize for running out on him. She had wanted to… _Stop it, Sarah. You're just confused right now. 'Thou shall not fornicate with thy partner.' Isn't that the 11th Commandment? _

Right now, a hot shower sounded like the best thing. She could call Harm when she got home. 

"Come on, people. The light is green!" she yelled in frustration. A chill ran down her spine. _Don't go home._ She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, and turned down her street. 

Macs' Apartment 

He took one last look around. The candles were little, the lights were dimmed. A bright red teddy lay across her comforter. It wouldn't be long. Everything had to be perfect. As a last thought, Damon moved a chair into her bedroom so that Harm could see how much Mac wanted this before he died.

Walking back to the kitchen, he removed the burgers from the bag. Mac's favorite. He stopped at the sound of rattling keys outside the door and waited for the door to open.

Outside, Mac hesitated. Something told her she was heading into danger. Something told her Harm was in danger. Yet something more told her it was time to face it and end it all once and for all. Back in the hospital she had assumed Harm had called the police after he got them out of there. She had figured Damon was in jail, but she had not heard anything from the police. As she stood outside her door, hand on handle, she had a sickening feeling that was not the case at all.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

The door slammed shut behind her. A hand grabbed her arm before she could react.

"I missed you," Damon whispered in her ear. His breath was warm and ragged.

"There is a surprise waiting for you on your bed." 

Mac struggled to break from his grip and backed away. "Why are you doing this? Didn't you already get what you wanted?"

An evil grin grew. "You think sex was all I wanted from you? Sarah, my dear Sarah, I want to share the rest of my life with you. I want to make you happy. I **_will_** make you happy." He walked over to the kitchen table and picked up the plate of hamburgers. "See, I even know what your favorite food it."

Her stomach turned. Before she could respond the door opened again. Her eyes met Harm's. "Harm! What are you…?" Then she saw the gun pointed at his head followed by the two men.

He weakly smiled. "I ran into some old friends."

"There's a chair in there," Damon said pointing to the bedroom. "Tie him up there for now."

They dragged Harm to the bedroom, leaving Mac alone with Damon. 

He turned back to her. "Now, where were we? Oh yes, dinner. Please, sit."

She sat at the dining room table without saying a word. Passing a glance to the nearby cabinet, her heart sank. Her gun was there - unloaded. She had to find a way to distract him long enough to load it. 

Setting a plate in front of her, he sat across from her. "Isn't this nice? You and me. Candlelight. What more could you ask for?" He picked up her burger and touched it to her lips. "I will do everything for you, my dear."

She moved her head. 

"You **_will_** do what I want you to or he dies. Just one word and they will snap his neck right there."

Fire burned in her eyes as she opened her mouth and took a bite. 

He observed each movement of her jaw as she chewed. "You are so beautiful. I can't believe how lucky I was to have you want me too."

She just kept chewing.

Harms' wrists were aching and his fingers tingled as the circulation slowed. The rope was digging through each layer of skin. His eyes fell upon the teddy. Swallowing the building tears, he strained to hear what the bodyguards were whispering in the corner.

"He never told us she was a Marine. We could get in a lot more trouble than we bargained for here, John."

"I think we're in a little too deep to back out now. You know what he did to the others. They've never found the bodies." John took a brief look at the incapacitated Harm then turned back to his partner.

"They are lawyers – for the Military. I say we skip out now."

"You moron, we can't. Aside from what Damon would do to us, they've seen us, they can describe us. No, we have to take care of them ourselves. **_All_** of them." 

Meanwhile, Harm was attempting to free his hands. Though he had been unable to make out the entire conversation, he could hear and see enough to know mutiny was on their minds and they weren't about to take prisoners.

As Mac swallowed the last bite, Damon got up and walked over to her, taking her hand in his. She stood up. 

"Now for dessert." He led her to the bedroom. 

She passed another longing glance at the cabinet.

Upon entering the room, he found his assistants sitting on the bed and Harm staring at the ceiling. "What is going on?" he yelled. "You are messing up the bed!"

They jumped up and Harm pulled a neck muscle as he jerked his head around. His eyes set on Mac as she stood beside Damon, her hand in his. _Mac. Sarah. Don't you know I love you? I would die for you. Please let me die so you don't have to do this._

He had seen the red teddy on the bed. As much as he had always dreamed of Mac wearing something like that, it had always been for him, not anyone else.

"Get out, now!" he demanded. "We have some business to take care of between the three of us."

John and his partner looked at each other, shrugged, and left.

"Mac," Harm whispered.

She looked at him. She saw the pain on his face – the emotional pain – and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Here, put this on." Damon handed her the silk lingerie. 

Harm's pleading eyes stayed locked with Macs'. She reached out and slid her fingers over his tears. 

Damon pulled her arm away. "Now!"

She disappeared into the bathroom while Damon pulled the sheets down and sat on the edge. "You never do realize what you have till it's gone, isn't that right, Rabb?"

"I guess so."

"Oh, I would think you know how that feels. You never appreciated Sarah. And now she's mine. You will never have her. How does that feel?"

"At least I don't have to abduct and rape a woman."

Mac walked out just as Damons' fist connected with Harms' jaw. "What the hell are you doing?"

Both men looked at her. Harms' heart stopped. Damons' jaw dropped. The 5'9", brunette stood there in nothing but the red lace and a Mag 44 aimed straight at Damons' head. 

"Move away from him."

"All I have to do is shout and my guards will take you both out in seconds."

"Go ahead," she dared.

"Hey!" Damon yelled.

There was no answer.

"Get in here now!"

Still no answer. 

He looked back at Mac who was untying Harm. "What's going on?"

"I believe you have been deserted."

Harm rubbed his wrists before untying his ankles.

"Sarah, honey, you won't shoot me. You love me. You will never know another like me."

"I hope not."

He took a step closer. She tightened her grip and winced as her injured shoulder began to throb. 

In a flash, Damon pulled out a knife. 

A shot rang out.

Harm looked up and saw Damon on the floor and smoke rising from Macs' gun. 

He rips the ropes away and knelt down next to Damon, checking his pulse. Looking up, he found Mac still standing in the same position.

"Is he…?"

Harm nodded. He stood up and took the gun from her. "You took a big risk. How did you know they were gone?"

"I saw them running down the street as I was changing."

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Go get dressed. I'll call the police and the Admiral."

Her eyes locked with his once again. The tears began to fall. Placing the gun on the bed, Harm reached out and enveloped Mac in his arms. "It's okay. He's dead. It's all over."

Her body convulsed as she let it all out. She clutched his shirt tightly. She no longer felt embarrassed about standing before her partner – her friend – dressed as she was. She needed his strength more than any modesty.

Keeping his arms tightly around her, he moved them over to the phone where he made his calls. Placing a gentle kiss at her hairline, he said, "You'd better get dressed or you'll have some major explaining to do to the Admiral, Major."

She looked up at him, forcing a smile, and extracted herself from his arms. 

"Mac."

She stopped at the bathroom door and turned around.

"Where did you have that gun hidden?"

She grinned. "Marines are prepared for anything. I always keep one in a plastic bag in the toilet."

He shook his head and grinned back. "I should learn never to underestimate my Ninja Girl."

Mac giggled as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Macs' Apartment

4 Hours Later

The police had arrived and left. They had explained the last few days to both the Admiral and the police. Admiral Chegwidden had ordered them to take at least a week off while he ran everything past his superiors. He assured them that no charges would be brought against Harm. While they gave their statements, the officers received a call that the other two men had been caught. Mac seemed to relax a little after that. As Harm locked the door behind the police, he turned to see Mac standing outside her bedroom door peering in.

"Hey, it's all over, Mac." Harm wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back to him. 

"Is it? I still see him everytime I close my eyes. His blood is stained into my carpet." She turned in his arms and looked up at him. "I don't think I can stay here anymore."

Harm nodded. "You can stay at my place as long as you need to. I'll even take the couch this time," he grinned.

She sighed and broke from his grasp. "It's not that. His ghost haunts here."

"It will just take time." He lifted her chin with his finger. "And I am **_not_** going anywhere. When I told you I love you I meant it."

Mac froze. "Wha…What did you just say?"

Harm's heart stopped. _I didn't tell her. Not out loud. _He stared into her searching eyes. "Sarah, when Damon brought you back, I… well… it was killing me. It was killing me to see you go through all that and not be able to do a thing to help you. I should've been able to protect you. And yes, Sarah MacKenzie, I do love you."

"Harm," her voice cracked. "You can't.'

"I don't think I have a choice here."

She turned and walked to the living room. 

His heart sank. "Mac, if I've said something… Of course, I have said something. I'm sorry. You don't feel the same way. I can accept that."

"What about Jordan," she whispered as she stared out the window.

"Jordan? Oh, I forgot to tell you with all that happened. I broke up with her."

Wiping away tears, Mac turned to look at him. "Why?"

He took a few steps towards her. "I don't love her. I never did."

"And this has nothing to do with the events of the past few days?"

"No," he responded taking another few steps towards her.

"Harm, we went through a lot together. You are only feeling indebted to me or something. Please don't make such a mistake. Jordan cares about you."

He stood before her. "I'm not making a mistake. I've had these feelings for a long time. Even Annie pointed that out to me." He could see the hesitation, but he could also see the tiny glimmer of hope hidden deep within her.

"I may not be around that much longer."

Harm took a step back. "What are you talking about?"

Mac turned her gaze towards the window once again. "The tests. We still don't know what they will say."

"Mac, I don't care what the tests say."

A silent tension consumed the room.

"I understand if you don't feel the same," Harm began just barely above a whisper. "But please let me help you through this. You don't have to face this all alone."

Without a word, Mac wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He pulled her as close as he possibly could.

Harm's Apartment

One Week Later

"Mac, it's for you," Harm called as he held the phone receiver. 

Mac emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping and a terry cloth robe hastily wrapped around her. "Thanks," she said taking the receiver from him. "This is Major MacKenzie." She sank to the chair as the caller spoke.

"Mac?" Harm mouthed but was ignored.

"I see. Yes, I know." 

She glanced briefly at Harm, but long enough for him to see the tears forming.

Biting her lower lip, she responded. "Okay, set up the appointment for then. And thank you, Dr. Cromwell." She hung up the phone and stared at nothing.

Harm knelt beside her. "What did he say."

Mac hugged him. "I'm okay. I'm not pregnant. The HIV test came back negative." She pulled back so she could see his eyes. "I'm going to be fine. And, thanks to you, the nightmares aren't as bad anymore."

"You know you can stay here as long as you want."

She smiled. "I know." She felt her cheeks burn. "Um, Harm, I would like to stay here for awhile."

"Absolutely. However long you need." 

She laughed. "No, I mean a long while." 

The questioning eyes soon turned to recognition. "You mean?"

Mac nodded. "I had to be sure you weren't feeling like you owed me somehow." A huge grin reached her lips. "I now know you weren't." Running her fingers along his jawline, she said, "Harmon Rabb, Jr., I love you."

Standing up, he pulled her up with him. "Are you sure about this?"

She nodded. "When have I ever followed the rules about dating in the military?"

"Don't start now!"

He lowered his head as she stood on her toes to meet him. Their lips met for the first time since that fateful night in Norfolk. This time, however, Mac was sure of who Harm was kissing. As the kiss deepened, Harm picked her up and carried her over to the couch, breaking only briefly to say, "I will always love you, Sarah."

The End


End file.
